Fruit of the Spirit Series: Self Control

On the list next for the Fruit of the Spirit Study is Self-Control. It is tempting to keep scrolling. Who wants to read about self-control right? 

In an earlier post for the Fruit of the Spirit Series we stated, “ Love is the foundation that is required to grow joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control”.  
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The fruits of the spirit are so intertwined. To really love others you have to be joyful, be kind, be peaceful, have goodness, and have faith!  To be joyful you have to practice the other fruits.  Faithfulness also is fed by kindness, patience, and self-control. Being filled with the Holy Spirit can be thought of as having a basket full of these fruits!

In order for any of the fruits to manifest within our daily lives, self-control is critical. We will dive deeper into self-control by looking at how to take thoughts and feelings captive before they result in actions that spoil the other fruits!

Ask yourself: What thoughts and feelings do I have that are out of control and causing my actions to not reflect love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, or self-control?
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Do you struggle with thoughts or feelings that seem out of control? Do they lead to actions that generally result in regret? 
While self-control can be focused on restraint of actions, taking a step back and looking at what thoughts and feelings occurred prior to these actions results in long term change. This is basic cognitive behavioral therapy.  

If actions taken do not line up with beliefs or values that are embedded in our brains then cognitive dissonance can be experienced.  Basically what is on the outside is not reflective of what is on the inside. If becoming a healthier version of ourselves is the goal then taking captive every thought is key.  Choices can make or break us but it all starts with reigning in those thoughts.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2nd Corinthians 10:5

Taking thoughts and feelings captive can prevent spoiling chances to manifest the fruits of the spirit.  It is important to remember that being human and flawed means we will have some thoughts that are not perfect. Making an effort to practice self-control and taking captive these thoughts will keep them from becoming destructive.

Questions we can ask in the middle of situation or in the middle of something that can seem innocent like letting our worries spiral:

Is my thought, feeling, response, or action I am about to take healthy?  
Do my thoughts, feelings, responses and actions align with scripture?  
What would Jesus do right now in this moment? 
If I am at a crossroad, what will I feel good and at peace about at the end of the day?  

Wrapping up we are looking at developing healthy habits… and why that can be so difficult, especially when there is so much temptation pulling in the opposite direction, feeding that inner tantrum.

Above our reflection questions asked, “Is my thought, feeling, response, or action I am about to take healthy and is it aligned with scripture?”   Self-control is like a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it gets. Let’s talk about the “how” to in all of this. How can I develop self-control? How can I exhibit all the Fruits of the Spirit?

The answer in short and simple terms: Developing healthy habits.

Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.
Titus 1:8

Developing healthy habits is not easy. In fact, at times it seems impossible. The “I ain’t doin’ it” videos that Heather Land posts on Facebook end with “I would rather…”. Well, this seems appropriate about now. I’d rather walk barefoot through a puddle of jellyfish than develop a good habit. Have you felt that “I ain’t doin’ it” attitude when it comes to developing a good habit?

Change is not easy.  This is why over and over again that choices are made to continue with unhealthy habits rather than start a new good habit.  It is a choice! It is a HARD choice! 
One example from a parent’s perspective is trying to get a child to course correct their behavior.  As a parent, with limited time and in the heat of the moment, it is easier to give in to something than to deal with an hour long tantrum. 

Does it ever feel to you that you have this inner tantrum going on that is fighting that good decision that needs to be made to establish self-control and good habits?
What happens though if we stay the course?  Tough things out?  Do the hard work? Take captive our thoughts that lead to more healthy actions?  

For whatever reason, self-control is listed last on the list of Fruits of the Spirit. In reality though, is it not what fuels a life of maintaining a relationship with God,  growing in the faith, and staying focused on God’s will?

For as he thinketh in his heart so is he.  Proverbs 23:7

What words do we want at the end of our lifetime to be used to describe our character? Sorrowful, fought with others, impatient, unkind, evil, unfaithful, harsh, and all about self-indulgence or out of control?  
Or is the goal to be described as full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control?  

So, what is the simple how to?  
Develop healthy habits such as spending time in scripture, prayer, meditation, and having conversations with God (even when they are messy conversations).
The more we feed ourselves spiritual fruit 🍉 🍎 🍌, the greater likelihood we exhibit the fruits of the spirit described in Galatians 5:22-23.  

Dear Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for giving us clear instruction through your word about what specifically we need to do to keep in step with the spirit and live life as intended.  
Help me to follow Jesus’ example of having self-control and continuing to build that muscle and develop healthy habits in order to have more love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,and faithfulness.  

In Jesus Precious Name,
Amen 

Heather Lynch and Kim Carroll