Heather's thoughts on Balance

Psalm 143:10-11- Teach me to do your will, for you are my god; may your good spirit lead me on level ground.  For your name’s sake, Lord, preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.  

The hebrew word for level is miyshowr.  A level or even place, but it also means uprightness, made straight, justice or uprightness.  

When I think of balance, I think of being physically on level ground. I think of being able to stand upright and steady. Not falling and not stumbling. Kim and I were hiking downhill recently and I stumbled, almost fell, but regained my balance.  From behind me Kim said, “There is nothing I can do.” Sometimes others can catch us when we lose our balance physically. Sometimes they aren’t within arm’s reach and just watch the catastrophe go down. Maybe even laugh a little at us or with us.  

Our emotions, thoughts, and words can all spiral out of control and out of balance. Sometimes just as we physically fall or stumble, we emotionally do. Sometimes others can help us regain balance before we fall head first on our face and sometimes they only have the ability to  pick us back up after we have fallen. Sometimes God sends others to resteady us, hold our hands through the tears, and pray with us. Sometimes God sends others to steady us through the accountability that relationship gives.    

I’m a firm believer of God sending people or signs our way to steady us, to show us his love. But I think above all else God wants us to allow him to steady us first.  To ask him to lead us. To have the ability to start with him first thing in the morning and to revisit that presence throughout the day. To open our hearts, our minds, and our ability to listen.  But he also created people for us to be in relation with for a reason. I think it’s both. We need God as a support to steady us and we need each other. We need God and others to balance out the parts where we are weak.  

Sometimes we are weak when we think we are strong.  We think we can do this on our own. That we have it under control. But true strength also comes through submission and transparency.  I do thing there is benefit in the concept of faking it until you make it, but that is temporary progress. It is fleeting. I think we can start something with faking it, but that is a band-aid to temporarily get us through. True and lasting change in anything comes from a true desire to be on the other side of something.  Honesty about where we are coupled with dedication, determination, and daily habits to push us forward. 

The words not faltering are ever present as I write this.  The Cambridge Dictionary defines faltering as, “to lose strength or purpose and stop, or almost stop”.  

Sometimes when the storms of life come we can lose the fight. Storms come in so many various forms.  We can be filled with discouragement, negative thoughts, and despair. We can feel like we have no strength left.  We can feel like maybe our purpose is gone or a lack of desire to fulfill a purpose after pain and loss. Sometimes we have lost one of the amazing people who gave us balance on this earth and who believed in us.  The person you called when you wanted to share some kind of wonderful news or the person you desired comfort from when the news wasn’t so good.   

Isaiah 26:3- You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust in you.  

When I turn things over to God and I trust him, I see blessings and God’s provisions all around. God puts things and people in my path I didn’t expect.  I promise this isn’t at all perfect or all the time, but each day I am seeing it more and more. I feel a peace that can only be from God.

A song that started speaking to my heart many years ago was, “Praise You in This Storm” by Casting Crowns.  A portion of the song says, 
But once again, I say amen
That it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear your whisper through the rain
I'm with you
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
The God who gives and takes away
And I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
That you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm”

During that season, I was suffering a string of miscarriages that seemed like they would never end.  But I vowed To God them I would praise him either way. I felt God’s tug at my heart back then to do more. To share my story more and to help others.  Fast forward many years later and following the death of my aunt and grandmother, we were hugely impacted by the “C” word. Cancer invaded our lives. My mom was diagnosed with Leukemia and she fought long and hard for 14 long months before moving on to her heavenly home.  This gave me a whole new understanding of cancer, caregiving, and loss. But also strength I didn’t know I had because it wasn’t of me. I could look around and see so many things God has put into place to help and protect our family at that time.  

God started weaving Balance Ministries together many years ago.  He knew I was going to walk through an incredibly difficult season.  He knew I was going to suffer loss. He knew what Kim had ahead of her.  I can look back and see God’s provision in the support systems he had in place both in our personal lives and at work.  As we have continued to feel the Holy Spirit move there is no denying God’s hand this whole time. I am so incredibly grateful that while there will always be loss and suffering here on this earth that God still has me in his hands.  

Life is a balance of feeling something that hurts so deep and still continuing forward. Being able to stay steady in the storm or in the aftermath. Knowing that more waves will come in life, but trusting God enough to truly turn things over to him. My heart's desire is to help and meet people where they are. To help regain their footing with the assurance of God’s word and through prayer.  To support, encourage, and to love always.